Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconevelyntaliette: More from EvelynTaliette



More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
December 22, 2012
File Size
163 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
265
Favourites
14 (who?)
Comments
15

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
×
Dancing
Flames;
Smoldering
Bodies.
For #FourLinePoems's contest.
I don't know, honestly.

I remember,
Once
The hills were painted
In feeding crimson-streaked flames
Reflecting in the once eternal lakes
While man met man
In a suffocating embrace of rage
Until both were consumed
In the fiery blaze.

I wake up
Huddled
Skin and bones, neglected
While my fathers and mothers
Fought, over useless things.
A soldier once gave me a teddy bear
Before, he too, was eaten by the flames.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconis-lnds:
Is-lnds Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
ashes
ashes
we
all

*too late*
Reply
:iconevelyntaliette:
EvelynTaliette Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
That would be a perfect add-on if I were allowed double the allowance of four!
Reply
:iconis-lnds:
Is-lnds Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
haha!

i really love this.
maybe you should spawn another poem
from it? although the imagery is enough with 4 words/lines.

hm. i feel like this could be literal war and metaphorical for a war involving lust. works either way.

nice one. ;)
Reply
:iconevelyntaliette:
EvelynTaliette Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
I already did spawn another poem in the description, and if I write more than they'll be multiplying out of control!

Hm. I never thought of it that way. I imagined it as literal, and as metaphorical (all-consuming war, fire is all-consuming...)

Thanks!
Reply
:iconis-lnds:
Is-lnds Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
too many spawns! haha

youre welcome!
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
I really like it... both the four simple lines that convey a powerful image, and the poem in your description describing it in more detail.
Reply
:iconevelyntaliette:
EvelynTaliette Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks! The longer poem came of its own accord
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome!
=D Poems usually do.
Reply
:iconartbybeverly:
ArtBYbeverly Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Very true, and so well put...nice poem!
Reply
:iconninquetari:
ninquetari Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
This is a very strong poem. And oh, so true.
Reply
Add a Comment: