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:iconevelyntaliette: More from EvelynTaliette




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December 22, 2012
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Dancing
Flames;
Smoldering
Bodies.
For #FourLinePoems's contest.
I don't know, honestly.

I remember,
Once
The hills were painted
In feeding crimson-streaked flames
Reflecting in the once eternal lakes
While man met man
In a suffocating embrace of rage
Until both were consumed
In the fiery blaze.

I wake up
Huddled
Skin and bones, neglected
While my fathers and mothers
Fought, over useless things.
A soldier once gave me a teddy bear
Before, he too, was eaten by the flames.
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:iconis-lnds:
Is-lnds Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
ashes
ashes
we
all

*too late*
Reply
:iconevelyntaliette:
EvelynTaliette Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
That would be a perfect add-on if I were allowed double the allowance of four!
Reply
:iconis-lnds:
Is-lnds Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
haha!

i really love this.
maybe you should spawn another poem
from it? although the imagery is enough with 4 words/lines.

hm. i feel like this could be literal war and metaphorical for a war involving lust. works either way.

nice one. ;)
Reply
:iconevelyntaliette:
EvelynTaliette Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
I already did spawn another poem in the description, and if I write more than they'll be multiplying out of control!

Hm. I never thought of it that way. I imagined it as literal, and as metaphorical (all-consuming war, fire is all-consuming...)

Thanks!
Reply
:iconis-lnds:
Is-lnds Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
too many spawns! haha

youre welcome!
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
I really like it... both the four simple lines that convey a powerful image, and the poem in your description describing it in more detail.
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:iconevelyntaliette:
EvelynTaliette Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks! The longer poem came of its own accord
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome!
=D Poems usually do.
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:iconartbybeverly:
ArtBYbeverly Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Very true, and so well put...nice poem!
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:iconninquetari:
ninquetari Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
This is a very strong poem. And oh, so true.
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