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A strong breeze blew through the garden, and petals and leaves swirled up from the ground like wayward confetti. For a moment the image resembled a spring snow globe; then the wind was gone, and the image shifted.
There was a figure walking towards you at the other end of the hidden garden, seemingly from nowhere. At first, a flash of anger filled you for someone to infiltrate your hiding place, your only sanctuary from the world- then sudden curiosity filled you as you realized it was a woman.
She walked with a type of grace that was unseen with most humans, each step seeming to awaken everything around her. The calm sun peeked through the shielding leaves overhead, dappling her pure white dress in sunlight and shadow. Morning glories and ivy twined up the still-standing stonework from decades past where she now trailed her fingertips, seeming to wonder who had once treasured this place. Poppies, roses, and all types of forgotten flowers seemed to reach out for her when she drew near- calling out for the soft light she seemed to emanate.
Was she an angel?
With this thought her vibrant blue eyes of the sky looked straight into yours, almost shocking you enough to fall off your veiled hiding place among the low branches of a small tree. Everything changed at that moment, everything negative had no more meaning; there was only beauty and light.
She stood only a quick reach before you, her bare feet strong but delicate beneath her white gown which moved with the wind. A soft smile lit up her pale face as she reached out an ethereal hand for you- just for you, in your dark corner amongst the now lit rest of the garden.
Without the slightest hint of hesitation, you closed your eyes and reached out your hand, wondering whether you would feel feathers or clouds. A circle of light enveloped your dark corner, filling you with weightlessness and the wonder of the easing of a pain you never even realized you had been burdened with.
Your hands reached nothing.
Before you stood the garden, now empty, with the sun setting beyond the brickwork.
You walked through the hidden garden which you will never visit again- eternal peace had been given.
There was a figure walking towards you at the other end of the hidden garden, seemingly from nowhere. At first, a flash of anger filled you for someone to infiltrate your hiding place, your only sanctuary from the world- then sudden curiosity filled you as you realized it was a woman.
She walked with a type of grace that was unseen with most humans, each step seeming to awaken everything around her. The calm sun peeked through the shielding leaves overhead, dappling her pure white dress in sunlight and shadow. Morning glories and ivy twined up the still-standing stonework from decades past where she now trailed her fingertips, seeming to wonder who had once treasured this place. Poppies, roses, and all types of forgotten flowers seemed to reach out for her when she drew near- calling out for the soft light she seemed to emanate.
Was she an angel?
With this thought her vibrant blue eyes of the sky looked straight into yours, almost shocking you enough to fall off your veiled hiding place among the low branches of a small tree. Everything changed at that moment, everything negative had no more meaning; there was only beauty and light.
She stood only a quick reach before you, her bare feet strong but delicate beneath her white gown which moved with the wind. A soft smile lit up her pale face as she reached out an ethereal hand for you- just for you, in your dark corner amongst the now lit rest of the garden.
Without the slightest hint of hesitation, you closed your eyes and reached out your hand, wondering whether you would feel feathers or clouds. A circle of light enveloped your dark corner, filling you with weightlessness and the wonder of the easing of a pain you never even realized you had been burdened with.
Your hands reached nothing.
Before you stood the garden, now empty, with the sun setting beyond the brickwork.
You walked through the hidden garden which you will never visit again- eternal peace had been given.
Literature
Tell me how
Tell me how
you can cause me
to turn red at a single phrase
Tell me how
you can cause me
to even forget my name.
Tell me how
you can cause me
to trip over my words
Tell me how
you can cause my
heart to be stirred.
Tell me how.
Because m'dear
Literature
Matchstick
irreplaceable yet unnecessary
leave me in your retrospect
where you found me, unwanted & with a question mark over my head
or a Matchstick, maybe
I'm the fire you started &
couldn't put out
the one you doused &
the One you'll freeze without.
Literature
When will you learn?
When will you learn I'm broken apart? All torn inside but I don't give up. But when you look at me I see your torn to like me.
Suggested Collections
All that's lost shall be found, all that was once chained will be freed.
For =Wolvesmaycry 's contest about Fall. [link]
This isn't really the image I had in mind for this piece, though it's the only one I could find that I liked. It doesn't have the right mood, but the light is perfect. Keep in mind that it's NOT MINE and solely belongs to [link]
I'm not really sure how I feel about the title as well.
For =Wolvesmaycry 's contest about Fall. [link]
This isn't really the image I had in mind for this piece, though it's the only one I could find that I liked. It doesn't have the right mood, but the light is perfect. Keep in mind that it's NOT MINE and solely belongs to [link]
I'm not really sure how I feel about the title as well.
Comments11
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While this is an interesting work, I noticed quite a few grammar issues that you may want to work on.
"A strong breeze blew through the garden, and petals and leaves swirled up from the ground like wayward confetti."
It would probably be better written as: "A strong breeze blew petals and leaves up from the ground like confetti throughout the garden."
There are quite a few unnecessary commas and after rewording the sentence, you also get rid of unnecessary words like "swirled up" that are a bit repetitive and redundant.
"For a moment the image resembled a spring snow globe; then the wind was gone, and the image shifted."
Better: "The image resembled a spring snow globe for a moment, but then the wind was gone and the image shifted."
The semicolon should only be used to separate two ideas in one sentence. You had the right idea, but this sentence is written better as a whole idea.
"Poppies, roses, and all types of forgotten flowers seemed to reach out for her when she drew near- calling out for the soft light she seemed to emanate."
You should replace the hyphen with a comma. I noticed you also used hyphens in other unnecessary places. You should only use a hyphen when: someone is being cut off in dialogue, you are breaking away from one sentence to insert another idea and then another when you continue with the main sentence, and others that I can't really think of at the moment, but you can probably look it up online.
You also used a lot more commas than necessary, but this is a common mistake (I've done it plenty of times too). Try having someone else read your material too. It also helps to take a nice break and then go back and read what you wrote (a fresh eye helps you see what you didn't see before).
Good luck and hope that helped!
"A strong breeze blew through the garden, and petals and leaves swirled up from the ground like wayward confetti."
It would probably be better written as: "A strong breeze blew petals and leaves up from the ground like confetti throughout the garden."
There are quite a few unnecessary commas and after rewording the sentence, you also get rid of unnecessary words like "swirled up" that are a bit repetitive and redundant.
"For a moment the image resembled a spring snow globe; then the wind was gone, and the image shifted."
Better: "The image resembled a spring snow globe for a moment, but then the wind was gone and the image shifted."
The semicolon should only be used to separate two ideas in one sentence. You had the right idea, but this sentence is written better as a whole idea.
"Poppies, roses, and all types of forgotten flowers seemed to reach out for her when she drew near- calling out for the soft light she seemed to emanate."
You should replace the hyphen with a comma. I noticed you also used hyphens in other unnecessary places. You should only use a hyphen when: someone is being cut off in dialogue, you are breaking away from one sentence to insert another idea and then another when you continue with the main sentence, and others that I can't really think of at the moment, but you can probably look it up online.
You also used a lot more commas than necessary, but this is a common mistake (I've done it plenty of times too). Try having someone else read your material too. It also helps to take a nice break and then go back and read what you wrote (a fresh eye helps you see what you didn't see before).
Good luck and hope that helped!