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Literature Text
Waiting. Watching as you fade, your heart ticking away with the clock.
Tick tick tick…
Slower and slower, the seconds go by.
A yearning, tugging, pulling you towards something - you may know what, you may not. You wait for it, it waits for you. Sometimes you even cause it, sometimes you prevent it.
You may not have realized before, but time is as strong as gravity- maybe stronger- it utterly controls you, you always think of it. How much is left?
Tick tick tick…
Days, months, years?
You check the clock- a minute has gone by, a millennia in your mind. I must wait.
Closed eyes, attempting to blind time with soft darkness- alone with only your thoughts.
It could drive you insane like this, eternal waiting. Maybe I am insane- in that minute on the clock it's been a week, ending on the same time when I check.
You check the clock again.
A second has gone by.
Tick tick tick…
Slower and slower, the seconds go by.
A yearning, tugging, pulling you towards something - you may know what, you may not. You wait for it, it waits for you. Sometimes you even cause it, sometimes you prevent it.
You may not have realized before, but time is as strong as gravity- maybe stronger- it utterly controls you, you always think of it. How much is left?
Tick tick tick…
Days, months, years?
You check the clock- a minute has gone by, a millennia in your mind. I must wait.
Closed eyes, attempting to blind time with soft darkness- alone with only your thoughts.
It could drive you insane like this, eternal waiting. Maybe I am insane- in that minute on the clock it's been a week, ending on the same time when I check.
You check the clock again.
A second has gone by.
Literature
Tell me how
Tell me how
you can cause me
to turn red at a single phrase
Tell me how
you can cause me
to even forget my name.
Tell me how
you can cause me
to trip over my words
Tell me how
you can cause my
heart to be stirred.
Tell me how.
Because m'dear
Literature
A Haiku
Light well past Midnight
full moon glow, lamp post bright, or
Netflix Marathon
Literature
Matchstick
irreplaceable yet unnecessary
leave me in your retrospect
where you found me, unwanted & with a question mark over my head
or a Matchstick, maybe
I'm the fire you started &
couldn't put out
the one you doused &
the One you'll freeze without.
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Comments5
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This does really capture the slow passage of time. I like how it drags out a simple moment, the type that passes us by, and really dissects it. The beauty of writing is that we get to appreciate the ephemeral things that we take for granted in beautiful detail.
...though I feel this would work better as a poem and not prose.
This sort of subject matter tends to works better either in a prose story to emphasize how long something is taking or as a poem. In fact, this reads like a poem. You could've restructured it as a poem, and you'd be good. That's just a little pet-peeve I have about the work, mainly because I can't find much else to criticize.
It's well structured, the language is vivid, and, like I said, it really breaks down something so simple that a lot of us forget it even exists. While it's simple and maybe a tad forgettable, it gets the job done.
...though I feel this would work better as a poem and not prose.
This sort of subject matter tends to works better either in a prose story to emphasize how long something is taking or as a poem. In fact, this reads like a poem. You could've restructured it as a poem, and you'd be good. That's just a little pet-peeve I have about the work, mainly because I can't find much else to criticize.
It's well structured, the language is vivid, and, like I said, it really breaks down something so simple that a lot of us forget it even exists. While it's simple and maybe a tad forgettable, it gets the job done.